Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Nightmares/ Snow

I am frustrated and needing to vent. I really hate losing sleep over something as stupid as my dreams...
Some people say they never dream or they do and just can't remember them once they wake up. I do not have that problem/gift (depending on how you want to look at it).I am the type of person that can lay in bed, decide what I want to dream about and I pretty much watch a color movie in my head all night. Sometimes random stuff will interrupt and even take over but usually it's nothing I can't handle. So imagine my disappointment when the last couple of weeks I have been having nightmares out of the blue or black I guess. I can guarantee you I don't choose these dreams. Now some are worse then others by way of nightmare scariness. Like last night I had one that I got Pink Eye again and the doctor admitted the whole family in the hospital for observation. Because any normal person who had just recently gotten over it would take every precaution to protect themselves and their family from this horrid thing. And yet here we are with it again so something is definitely not right with us.. Okay so this as you can see is a very tame one and may even be iffy in the categorizing of it as a nightmare. And yet for some reason this disturbed me so much I actually woke up heart pounding and have been alert since opening my eyes! For those of you know me well this Never NEVER happens. I am not now nor will I ever be a morning person. I admit I may be over thinking this whole thing but Hey I am the kind of person who wants answers.(my short explanation) So I have decided that the pink eye situation for some reason bothered me more then I thought, Whatever. Okay now that I have answered my own questions there get this... A week or two ago I had a Very bad and vivid one. I woke up in a cold sweat ( again something that never happens) and I couldn't go back to sleep for three hours! I laid there feeling guilty for having dreamt something so horrific I was actually close to tears! I couldn't believe I had just laid there in my sleep "watching" these horrible things take place and at the very least in my dream hadn't taken some action to help stop it all. Like I said I have always thought I could "control" most of what I'm dreaming even if I get sidetracked I can usually veer things back on course. Not that night it was like I was stuck there. It wasn't even like I was helpless in my dream I just didn't do anything! As a result I just felt like crap when I woke up. It really must have been traumatic because the rest of the night was black as far as dreaming goes (again very rare). Good for my sleep bad for my peace of mind. I was telling this to my sister and she said it's just pregnancy dreaming. Okay but, in my three previous pregnancies this Never happened! My dreams have always been super nice pleasant even while I am pregnant. What is up? I mean really what is so different this time? And frankly It's not like I am not losing enough sleep due to the bathroom thing every hour on the dot not to mention pinched nerves(from sitting on my butt all day!) that are not an easy thing to sleep with. I feel like this pregnancy is pushing it's luck as far as my patience goes. It would so be in time out right now if it were possible. I am very grateful for this baby and I recognize how blessed we are and lucky at this point to still be pregnant but come on! Sleep that's all a sane person needs and really I don't think I fit in that category recently. Not that I am complaining nope this is just venting. You should hear me when I complain, much whinier (Yes it's possible). Okay so now that I am done "Venting".... It's snowing out and the kids want to go make snowballs. SO I am going to drag my tired self out side and think fond thoughts about Dr. Pepper and count the days until we will meet again. Maybe if I think about it I will take pictures for a later blog..Until next time have a great day and get some sleep for me would ya.

1 comment:

Shumways said...

Scary dreams! Yuck! One of my friends went through a time in her pregnancy when she had bad dreams over and over. The phase passed so there is hope. And congrats on your pregnancy!
Love,
Kim