Friday, March 28, 2008

Deep Thoughts

My friend Christin has a friend who is only 28 years old and is soon expecting her third child. As I was reading this I thought, "ah Young and pregnant what is so sad about that?" Then I read on... She just found out she has breast cancer. What are you kidding me? Here is a young woman who is planning for the next step of miracles that will take place in her life and this is what gets dumped in her lap! I had to just stop and take it all in for a second. At first I was so upset at the unfairness of the situation. Not that anyone should ever expierience cancer or the like but come on! She is pregnant to boot!! Once I got over my initial reaction I had to stop and really think about some very personal things. .
My family history is nasty when it comes to Cancer. I have recently lost an Uncle (my dad's twin) and Brittney a very young cousin (16) to it. I also I have had two aunts a grandmother 2 young (25) and (26) year old cousins and my dad who have had various types and stages of the beast. Not to mention the not so few friends or their family members who have either had it are going through it now. I seem to remember a time when Cancer was something people just talked about or you read about in an article in a magazine. Now though it feels like if you personally have not been touched by it then someone close to you has. I think I personally have become sort of desensitized because of how "normal" this disease is becoming. I think this is both a blessing and a curse. I know really. How could I think of that attitude as a blessing? I guess coming from a family with a history like mine I have to be aware and prepared that at least one of my siblings or me will most likely get it. In fact my doctor just recently told me I should go to a genetic counselor and get the tests run and just "take the hit" for my sister's and that way only one of has to pay the bill. My first thought was, "good idea doc." Really why shouldn't I go and get it over with? I have to start getting mammograms at 30 anyhow what’s a few months early? I feel like no matter how "normal" this is in my family it is still devastating and life altering. I also feel like having been so closely touched by it I get a little better at processing it every time the news hits. Is this a good thing? I'm not sure. I just know its how it is for me. As far as the curse part goes, I think I in turn am touched so deeply each time I hear the news whether it's someone I know personally of not because I know what road they are headed down. Each walk down this path is very personal and unique but they have some very consistent elements that make them very much the same as well. I don't know. In the end I just needed to vent about how unfair life is and at the same time what a blessing and gift it is as well. I keep thinking of the saying, “He never said it would be easy just worth it.”
I want to ask all of you to remember in your prayers those wonderful people whose paths you will directly walk in and those you will just hear of by chance who are walking with the burden of sickness at their sides. I know I will be.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Baby Boy Masch #4

Finally... Here it is the footage we’ve all been waiting for! Baby Masch #4 seems to be loving life in the womb. He is showing remarkable skill in the facial expression department. He is all smiles even in his cramped quarters. There seems to be an uncanny resemblance to his three older siblings. It seems we are very happy with our previous models so we just keep making em' from the same mold. We hope you enjoy his movie making debut as much as we have.(make sure to pause music before playing video)

Life's a party when your just floating away the hoursKisses and Love to all his fans.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Today and Tomorrow

Today I have been doing this :

Tomorrow I will be getting this (in 4-D!)

Monday, March 24, 2008

Easter pics coming soon...

My sis Tiffany was in town this weekend for the holiday. For some reason whenever she is here and she brings her camera I don't take ANY myself. Well, she is gone and I forgot to download all her pics so I am waiting to post about our Easter weekend until I get the pics.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Lack of filter = necessary denial

So first I would like to start off with a huge thanks to my SIL Eden for having such a wonderful GNO. The food was Delicious and the company was wonderful. You put a ton of work into it and I think we all really appreciated it. Second I would like to apologize to all who came for my lack of self control. Seriously people when I get diarrhea of the mouth please someone stop me! I feel like I must have A D D because every time there was a lull in any conversation I had to fill it and boy did I ever! Not only that but I seemed to find it necessary to add my two cents to every conversation and even a personal (sometimes way too personal) tidbit or two just in case. UGH I feel like I monopolized the whole night and the longer it went on the worse it got. So, I’m sorry to all who had to put up with my lack of filtering and way too personal details of anything and everything under the sun. Next time just tell me to shut it and we can all move on. I have decided this is why I don't get out much. I am a freaking social nightmare! Oh just thinking about it makes me cringe. So I have decided in order to move on so I can sleep at night I am going into denial. Yup that is just the thing I need. Okay now that that is settled I am off to bed to NOT think about this anymore.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Spring has sprung!

I am so excited. I have been wanting to plant grapes since we bought our house 2.5 years ago. I have had a really hard time finding vines that grow anything but wine grapes though. What I really wanted were the grapes you buy at the store Yummy!! Well in January as I was starting to become grumpy with the weather I decided to cheer myself up and do some EBay browsing :) I happen to come across the very vines I have been looking for. I was a little skeptical because you had to pay at the end of the auction but they weren’t shipped until spring. I really felt like for less then 20.00 I could maybe take that risk though. So I took the leap and just did it. I bought two grape vines and guess what? TODAY THEY ARRIVED!! So this weekend I will be planting my very own grapes in our very own yard... I am so ready for spring I even wore shorts today ...So here’s to a Happy Spring and a very Happy Easter .

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Relief Society Birthday

Our Ward is celebrating this tonight.

I get to sing, Who you are by: Hillary Weeks
so wish me luck...

Relief Society Birthday
by Kate Ensign-Lewis
On March 17th, the Relief Society celebrates its 166th birthday, making it one of the world’s oldest women’s organizations. It is also the world’s largest women’s organization, with five and a half million sisters in 170 countries.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Mom I think I have a problem...

7 words I really don't like to hear. Usually they mean something is broken (person or thing), treats need to be made and taken somewhere in the next hour or I have a project I have known about for ages and it's due tomorrow. Well Kippi and Rieken had been playing so well all day. Imagine my not so shocked reaction to hear those words come out of Kippi's mouth... I mean really how long can a good thing last? Like I said they had been playing for a while and having such a great time and, oh did I mention they were outside? Yeah mix that in and flush goes the sanity right? So anyhow, Kippi comes in and says the words I dread. I ask her very calmly (in my opinion) what this problem might be. As she is standing there not saying a word looking guilty as sin all sorts of possibilities go through my mind. Did she break my wicker chairs did she tear a whole in the trampoline did she somehow hurt the freezer, did something less pleasant happen to Rieken (who had yet to show his face) ... Ya know the usual. So, she is standing there and I notice for the first time she actually looks uncomfortable. Not like my conscience is getting to me uncomfortable but, physically uncomfortable. It takes a lot for Kippi to feel uncomfy in her own skin and clothes for that matter so I just can't think what it could be. I asked her if she was sick or needed to go potty and she said, “No” but wouldn't elaborate. I sat quietly waiting for her to tell me what was up. She must have decided it wasn't that bad after all because she was like, Oh never mind it's nothing and took off outside again. This got me curious. So, I sat outside watching for anything unusual that would clue me into a problem that was so important I needed to be told. Nothing I tell you not a thing did I notice out of the ordinary. Well, after a while it was time to come in and eat lunch. So Rieken and Kippi troop in and place their orders and things are great. Rieken eventually decided he was ready for a nap so I suggest he go potty first just in case. All of the sudden Kippi looks all worried and the min I started for the bathroom to check on Rieken she pipes up with, “um, Mom what would happen if you put sand down someone’s pants and left it there?" I was like, "well your bum would get really raw and hurt plus that’s just gross why?" To this She says, "And what would happen to the person who put the sand down the pants? Are they in trouble?" Okay I think I see where this is going right? Then she says really fast before I can even name a consequence, "What if they knew it was naughty to put sand down someone’s pants so to make them feel better they put sand down their own pants to just to show them it's ok and so they won't tell on you?” At this point I notice she is standing all funny and Rieken is screeching because the toy paper (toilet paper) is hurty on his bum. I finally put two and two together asked her how that decision was working out for her and point out how wrong it was to do that. Then I put them both in the tub for a thorough bum scrubbing. I didn’t think it was necessary to punish her further given her bum is just as raw as Rieken’s

This is the life...

Smokey the wonder puff has found himself a new spot. He actually tips over the hamper paws out all the clothes and lays there like he's the King! I took a picture and he got all snooty so I left and came back about 10 min later and this is how I found him :)
Does that make you want to be a cat or what?

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Family home evening on St. Patrick's Day

Kim and Eden invited us over for home made pizza and family home evening last night. The kids had a blast playing together and making their very own pizzas. The lesson was great and the food was Yummy! Eden even baked and decorated a cake just for the occasion. It was a super fun time had by all. Thanks guys anytime you want to have us over for food and fun count us in!

As a side note...Thanks to Tiffany my Sis for driving all the way to town from Cheeney to play for me last weekend! It was a SUPER hard arrangement and you did an amazing job. The Song was great and people seemed to like it. I decided last min. to sing the Spanish part and I am so glad I did. W/ the exception of one person asking me if it was Hebrew (was my Spanish so unrecognizable?)I think I pulled it off...So 2 songs down & 1 to go for March. I also got released from Young Women’s and I am now the Ward Choir Director. Funny huh? I think so!!! I can't read music, I can barley lead and I have basically no idea what I am doing.. The only thing I have going for me other then the fact that I can sing is, apparently someone thought I could do it or I wouldn't have gotten the call...Any suggestions would be welcome and any snide comments I can live w/o :) Until Next time have a great one people.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Our very own leprechaun in a sausage casing...

I have officially changed my ways...(for now)

I have never denied that I am a procrastinator. In fact I feel I work best under pressure sometimes so why bother. Well I am so far ahead of the game this year I just don't know what to do with myself. Here it is March and we already have Rieken's Halloween costume ready! I know can you believe it? I have to admit, I really had nothing to do with the conception of this particular choice. All in all though I think we have a winner. So now for your viewing pleasure....

It's amazing how hard a person can laugh and still keep their eyes open so they won't miss any of the action. It's is also amazing what a 2 year can do with a pair of maternity nylons to generate this very response.I wish I would have gotten a video clip because it was just so funny watching him try to point to things and bend over. The best was the way he looked from the back though. Oh my word it was HALARIOUS!!! I don't know maybe you had to be there ;)

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! I hope our little leprechaun sausage put a smile on your face too.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

The price of popciles....

Last night Karl and I were enjoying some peace and quiet and having a nice little chat when he heard something... We stopped talking only to hear nothing. So we started visiting again when a few minuets later we hear a horrible cough. Karl went into the kid’s room to check it out and what does he find? Rieken standing up leaning against the bed coughing this horrible cough and unable to catch his breath! He brings him into the living room for a better look. He stopped coughing but he still couldn't catch his breath. In just a few min. he seemed to struggle even more and we were concerned he was having some sort of allergic reaction or asthma attack (it runs in both of our families). Up until then he had been fine! No fevers, no runny nose no cough no nothing!!! So here it is 11:30PM and we all head into the ER for our bi-monthly visit. We try no to go unless something has to be stitched, x-rayed, re-set or if someone on the verge of death... Not getting air is just about as close as we ever want to see for the last one.
We get there and they check him in and ask all the usual questions and hook him up to an o2 monitor. His level was 89. Not horrible but not good either. He had actually gotten a lot better on the way over (maybe the cold air?) and hadn't coughed since we took him out of his room. The nurse was dead set it was Croup. I was like ah, no he hasn't had any of (see list above) and she was like well it just comes out of no where and this is what happens, so it's most likely the croup. Ok I don’t agree but, I’m no doctor (otherwise we would have stayed at home) so, we take a seat and they assure us he will go back ASAP for treatment. We sat there for 2 + hours!! Kippi slept Kelten asked every 2 min. how much longer and Rieken just got better and better. Finally they put us into a room and then we waited for another 30-45 min, to see the doctor! As we were waiting Karl and debated on weather or not we should just leave. So we flagged down a nurse and asked her what they could even do for him now that he is showing no symptoms. She said they would probably get him a prescription just in case it happened again and so, we stayed... While we waited the kids had fun doing the vision test and eating popsicles provided by a kind nurse. By the time the Doctor made his way to us Rieken was back to normal with the exception of a slightly clear runny nose (probably from being out in the cold at midnight!). The Doctor took one look at him and said hmm I don’t know what it could have been maybe he has Croup but I don’t see any signs of it now.(what is with them hanging on to the whole croup thing!). . I guess you should give him Tylenol if he gets a fever and maybe some saline for that runny nose he says. Are you kidding me! No concern or even discussion on how this may have been an asthma attack or an allergic reaction no nothing! I know when to give my kid Tylenol and this runny nose was not even an issue until we took him out in the cold to come to the hospital for his BREATHING!!! What could we do? Sit there and argue with him when as far as he can tell Rieken is doing just fine... So we loaded everyone up and headed home. By the time all was said and done the kids were back in bed by 3:30 am and Rieken was in bed with us just in case…Today I am tiered and cranky and I just can’t stop thinking to myself…. Those were some pretty dang pricy popsicles!

Friday, March 14, 2008

Two things on my mind...

This is what I am thinking about today.

Yard work.. It's a love hate relationship

The thought of painting our floors is really starting to sound and look great in my minds eye. Really what do you think???

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Lazy Day...

Today I should really be cleaning... I'm sure you saw my "to do" list from hell so you know what I'm talking about. Well instead here it is 12:30 in the afternoon and I have yet to get dressed. My house is a mess, I need to go to town and I really should do something productive...I did feed the kids and lay on the couch while they kept each other happy. Does that count as productive though? I really need to get in the shower shake of my laziness and get moving but... I just can't seem to do it. It’s wet out and icky. I really do love the rain but, I don't like it all day long! I'm seriously having one of those, don't open the blinds, lock the doors, turn out the lights, put on a movie, and cat nap days. I feel bad for my kids who I'm sure would love to go out and soak it up literally. But, then I would have sick kids and two more loads of laundry to add to my ever growing to do list. So, what do I do? I made snacks and put on Noggin instead. On the upside, I spoke with the previous owner of our house yesterday and he said both the rooms I was hoping for wood floors in still have them! YEA!! On the down side, he isn't sure they are worth the work to refinish. Well what if I paint them? WHAT do you think?...
Oh and as an update from yesterdays post. We have changed our minds and our going to go w/ the 13th of June for the C-Section because Karl has finals the 9th -12th. We would really like him to be able to enjoy the first week of his son's life and not just be stressed about mommy in the hospital a new baby and finals... That’s what we get for picking the dated w/o consulting the all important calendar!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

So far this week ...

~~~To start this week off Karl gave the boys haircuts. Yeah Daddy! I love when my boys look clean cut. Then of course to add a little "typical" to the mix the clippers didn't get put away, duh du dun...Can you guess what happened next? Of course you can :) Rieken came into me a few hours later and asked if I liked his hair cut and without looking first I said, “You are so handsome I love it!" Then I turned around.... He had of course found the clippers and done a bang up job cutting his own hair w/o a guard. Like a said…Typical. Karl had to go back and give him a super short buzz and in the end it still didn't cover Rieken’s Handy work. We would have to shave him bald for people to miss it. I can honestly say this didn't actually upset me. Shocked? I know me too. I guess I was just so glad he cut his hair and not Kippi's or the cats and he didn't cut himself that it didn't bother me. It will grow back in no time he's a boy so, he can have super short hair and no one will think anything of it. RIGHT?

~~ The next wonderful thing to happen this week. I had my doctors apt. here's the run down. I gained some weight, the baby has a heartbeat, and my belly is measuring large not to mention, the time has come for my sugar test... I can honestly say this is one of those things I hate during pregnancy. I can hardly keep the drink down and I hate that I have to fast. I can go hours w/o eating a thing and not notice but, when I HAVE to do it I can't think about anything other then eating and it's torture! Lucky for me I won't have to drink the drink I get to eat jelly beans instead yeah! I'm am also interested to see if I will do the "typical thing" and be gestational per usual or not per this very unusual pregnancy. My doctor also gave me options for the day to schedule my c-section. I know super early in my opinion. But hey, I'm not against being prepared it's just a slightly foreign concept to me. So, I think we have picked June 6th but I will keep you posted in case we change our mind. It seems weird to actually put a date on the arrival of a baby we haven’t even named yet. Oh and I also got scheduled for our 4-D ultrasound!!! I am so excited I love those. The kids do to. I think it makes it more real to them. So that’s it for the Dr. Visit.
~~Then there is this .... I have finally picked the song I am singing this Sunday. Actually I picked it last week but I was to busy preparing last week’s song to mess with this week's. I have another Relief Society B-day I am singing for next week so I have to prepare that one too. Ahh! Seriously I love to sing but wow this seems like a busy month singing wise doesn’t it? Anyhow, I have gone off and picked a non- traditional song but I did get it approved people so no worries:) I heard it in sacrament for the first time in Provo at the BYU ward I was in ... (Weird cause I didn't actually go to BYU I just got put in that ward because of boundaries.) Then I heard it again In Laramie a couple of years later. This gals Mother in law sang it and I was HOOKED! I actually asked her to teach it to me because well, she sang it amazingly! Too bad for me I didn't stick with it because now I am on my own! It is the perfect Easter song in my opinion. Yes, I am aware I am not actually singing on Easter Sunday but it fits the theme for the month anyway. So here it is... Via Dolorosa by: Sandi Patti click here to see a video of it. Warning it is very realistic/ graphic depiction of the Crucifiction. Be prepared to bawl.
I am singing an arrangement w/o the Spanish so it will be a little shorter then that but it is still beautiful! I really hope I can do this justice. It is one of the most touching songs about the Sacrifice our Savior made for us. I still have a hard time not crying when I listen to it.

~~~The last thing of any notice to happen so far this week... I ran out of gas! I have never run out of gas before. NEVER! I was on my way to pick Kippi up from Pre-school when the gas light went on. I thought oh I should have enough to get me there and then stop on the way home right?. Yeah-NO I made within a couple of blocks from the preschool (LUCKY ME!) The kicker.. I hadn't bothered to put shoes on Rieken because he wasn't supposed to be getting out of the car. Yeah well I carried him the whole way except about 10 feet and then his little piggy’s got cold. I owe a HUGE thanks to Mrs.Kristen for taking me to the gas station to get more petrol for our gas guzzling Beast of a car. Thanks so much I would have been screwed w/o ya!! I really do owe you. Maybe a little homemade bread & jam will make it up to ya?
Well that's it for the week so far. So until next time... Wish me luck and the next time you see Rieken don't forget to tell him what a good Barber he is:) Happy Wednesday people.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

My many faces...

I have noticed quiet a few people doing these 5 things I love about me things... I have really had a hard time finding five whole things I love about myself. I have the hardest time truly loving my physical self at the moment. This is a work in progress. Some days I really love the "bigger me" but mostly I would really love the "smaller me" back. I Have truly enjoyed and frankly been inspired by all of you who have done this. I managed to come up w/ a few things to list but it has taken me days! So, I thought I would just make a slide show that gives you little glimpse into the real me. These are just some of the many faces that I wear on a daily basis. I am a very expressive person and I can't seem to hold back no matter how much I may want to. So, now you have your very own personal guide book and you will know what I am saying from across a crowded room. Hey what more could you ask for right?

1. My eyelashes... They are longish and they never gain weight!
2. My Sense of humor.
3. My voice. I love to sing and I love that my kids love to hear me sing no matter what!
4. My ability to sleep through anything and/or anywhere when I need to. My ability to wake up at the smallest thing when I need to... (I swear I am out of bed in a flash at the slightest gag or barfing sound!)
5. My family. I know this isn't technically me but it wouldn't be the same w/o me and I love it so, to me that counts.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Procrastination is my middle name...

This is the sign I have wanted to wear for the last two weeks!How I managed not to will remain a mystery even to me....

I am a horrible procrastinator... This usually means a lot of unnecessary stress, worry and a half done job in the end. This problem pertains to almost all areas of my life. However, there are a few things that I manage to stay focused on so this plight doesn’t touch them. One of those things is singing. I am a true believer in being prepared when performing. If someone cares enough to ask me to do this I feel obligated not to let them down.(why I can't have this mentality about everything beats me!) Well I got asked to sing in another ward for their Relief Society Birthday dinner a little over two weeks ago. I was sick at the time but thought I would be over it with plenty of time to prepare. Well, guess what? The Dinner was Last night and I almost didn't make it and this is why.....
Monday the week of rolls around & I kind of start to worry because, I still sound like I have a bad cold. By Tuesday I sounded better but not totally and on Wednesday it was like I was cured! This was good and bad in my opinion. I need to mention that due to my head cold and sinus infection over the last two weeks I never even bothered to look at the song. So this is bad because, now I am officially better and I have no acceptable excuse to beg off and good because then I don't have to be a Jerk and beg off. To top it off I find out the person whom they have told me was accompanying me was never told that. So, not only am I unprepared but she would be too (through no fault of her own). She was Super sweet about it and said she would be happy to but, there was no time to get together before hand because her schedule was packed... So here I am Wednesday night Freaking out about a song I have to sing in two days that I have Never bothered to look at and even if I had I can't read notes and, I have no pianist to practice with to boot!!! Needless to say I didn't sleep well that night. At about 5:30AM Thursday it occurs to me I know someone who plays Very well and may be able to help... I lay there watching the clock waiting until a respectable time to call her. At 7:30 I couldn't wait any longer so I called her and she was more then happy to help! Hallelujah!! We made arrangements to get together and practice. What followed were pure patience on her part a lot of laughter and some really horrible singing on my part!! In the end She ended up playing for me (thank you so much Marilyn!) and it all worked out fine. I have to say I could have lived with out the stress stomach ache and the major case of nerves that hit me out of no where! All in all though it was a great lesson learned. I just wanted to say Thanks a trillion to this gal for helping me through a ticking time bomb! You were amazing and you even sacrificed your Friday night to help me out not to mention, the time spent practicing and having to listen to me stumble through or talk NON STOP!! You are amazing and I couldn't’t have pulled it off with out ya! So, from the tips of my stubby toes to the bottom of my chineck I Thank you .

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Baby update...

Okay so here is the run down...
Yesterday was our second appointment with the specialist. I know I didn't update after my last visit but hey who wants to hear every detail of my life and frankly I wasn't in the mood to share them all at the time. Sorry.

So this is what they found this time...

The ultrasound showed the Choroid plexus cyst is completely gone on one side of his brain and dramatically smaller on the other. Good news Yeah! At our last appointment they also noticed a few things they were concerned about. First was something called notching. I guess that is when your blood vessels that feed directly into the placenta are dipping abnormally low between each pump. This can cause all sorts of issues like low birth weight, malformations etc. Well, that too has leveled out and is no longer a worry. The other issue from our last apt. was they couldn't see one of the ventricles in his heart. They said it was just his positioning and that the next time we came they would get a great shot of it. Well unfortunately it was not to be :(
The Dr. was very nice and optimistic and said they most likely aren't getting the right angle and that’s probably why they can't see it. So back we go in six weeks to make sure he really does have all the parts he needs in his little heart. Now I'm sure you all have lots of questions but let me just say. I don't know what will happen if he winds up w/o the ventricle. I didn't even ask...
I feel like I am a fairly laid back kind of person. So, I have decided not to worry about it until I really have to. That is not to say we don't care about the well being of our baby. It just means, why add more stress worrying about something that may or may not be? So then after that little bummer my Dr. asked me if I was drinking at least a gallon of water. Um, No I’m not… (a whole Gallon?) Is this a problem I ask? Well it was for him because apparently my fluid levels are low! What…? I’m thinking you are kidding me right? I have always provided my babies w/ their own personal Olympic sized swimming pool. Between the toxemia and gestational diabetes this has NEVER been an issue we have had to deal w/. Oh wait nothing in this pregnancy has been an issue we have ever had to deal w/! So I will not be stressing about what if’s and I will be drinking a gallon of water a day… (Like I need any more reason to visit the bathroom and if were being honest here it’s only a matter of time before I start retaining fluid like a frigging sponge whale anyhow!)
I have however come to this conclusion. I officially dislike Dr. visits this time around. Every time (and I do mean every!) They tell me some sort of something that just stinks. Okay to be fair, there have been the few shining moments of good news. Then they go and ruin it before I even leave the office by dishing out something just as bad if not worse. SHEESH! So until next time, I will be thinking of you all as I drown my issues in water and cleaning...