Friday, March 28, 2008

Deep Thoughts

My friend Christin has a friend who is only 28 years old and is soon expecting her third child. As I was reading this I thought, "ah Young and pregnant what is so sad about that?" Then I read on... She just found out she has breast cancer. What are you kidding me? Here is a young woman who is planning for the next step of miracles that will take place in her life and this is what gets dumped in her lap! I had to just stop and take it all in for a second. At first I was so upset at the unfairness of the situation. Not that anyone should ever expierience cancer or the like but come on! She is pregnant to boot!! Once I got over my initial reaction I had to stop and really think about some very personal things. .
My family history is nasty when it comes to Cancer. I have recently lost an Uncle (my dad's twin) and Brittney a very young cousin (16) to it. I also I have had two aunts a grandmother 2 young (25) and (26) year old cousins and my dad who have had various types and stages of the beast. Not to mention the not so few friends or their family members who have either had it are going through it now. I seem to remember a time when Cancer was something people just talked about or you read about in an article in a magazine. Now though it feels like if you personally have not been touched by it then someone close to you has. I think I personally have become sort of desensitized because of how "normal" this disease is becoming. I think this is both a blessing and a curse. I know really. How could I think of that attitude as a blessing? I guess coming from a family with a history like mine I have to be aware and prepared that at least one of my siblings or me will most likely get it. In fact my doctor just recently told me I should go to a genetic counselor and get the tests run and just "take the hit" for my sister's and that way only one of has to pay the bill. My first thought was, "good idea doc." Really why shouldn't I go and get it over with? I have to start getting mammograms at 30 anyhow what’s a few months early? I feel like no matter how "normal" this is in my family it is still devastating and life altering. I also feel like having been so closely touched by it I get a little better at processing it every time the news hits. Is this a good thing? I'm not sure. I just know its how it is for me. As far as the curse part goes, I think I in turn am touched so deeply each time I hear the news whether it's someone I know personally of not because I know what road they are headed down. Each walk down this path is very personal and unique but they have some very consistent elements that make them very much the same as well. I don't know. In the end I just needed to vent about how unfair life is and at the same time what a blessing and gift it is as well. I keep thinking of the saying, “He never said it would be easy just worth it.”
I want to ask all of you to remember in your prayers those wonderful people whose paths you will directly walk in and those you will just hear of by chance who are walking with the burden of sickness at their sides. I know I will be.

5 comments:

Rosie said...

Great post Niki. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend though....

Thanks for putting things into perspective for me......

Jessica said...

What a trying time for her! You never know when your life is going to change in a matter of minutes!
This was a great post. Lots to think about.

Tharker said...

I cannot even imgagine. I am so sorry to hear about your friend.

I too feel like every where I turn, I am hearing about someone else who has this horrible disease. It scares me.

Jan said...

You bet I'll offer up prayers for her. Cancer is everywhere and I am not immune to it. I have to remember that. Your a good friend and hugs to you.

emahaf said...

I am so sorry to hear about your friend, losing someone to cancer is very difficult, but stay positive there is so much new research and development and treatments available now.