Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Sausage fingers anyone?

So here I am mega pregnant. What you’re pregnant you say? I know, I know you would never know it by looking at me ... Oh wait You must not have seen me in the last oh I don't know, ten years of my life because I pretty much always look pregnant even when I'm not. I have come to the realization that I will most likely be big forever but maybe not who knows. What I know for sure is this, With Kelten I gained 83 lbs! Yes you read that right. I did lose about half just in delivery but I managed to hoard the other half and add on another 10 and then Kippi came along. I did so well and only gained 22 lbs with her but I only lost 15 YIKES! Then I added 5 just in time for Rieken to make himself known. Again I did great and only gained 23 lbs but shoot I only lost 15 again... Then I went off and gained another 5 right in time for number four to take up residence in my now seriously out of shape but awfully well cushioned rental womb. Do you see the pattern here? I think I can safely say I'm bound to be round forever. I can handle round, I can. What I cannot handle is sausage fingers. Seriously! Is it not enough that my bum, boobs, tummy and well pretty much all of me get all puffy and stretched even further then they normally are? Is it not enough that I have constant pain in the um, well everything and really, is it not enough that I have like 7 weeks to go and I have already grown out of every piece of HUGE maternity clothing I own? Now I can't even wear my "pregnant ring"! Yes I admit I have a ring that I bought just for the very special occasion called third trimester. This way I'm not walking around all knocked up and unwed. But No! My fingers are officially full on sausages! I can't even type very well which is really bad because even when my fingers aren’t' so um sausage like I stink at typing. So here I am all puffed to the max with weeks to go and prove to me that the max is really not the max, and I can't even look down at my massive sausage links and see the one bright shiny spot on my entire being. A ridiculously huge seriously fake diamond that I get to wear only about every 2.5-3 years for about three months. Come on in my book this is supposed to be a perk now it feels more like a prick. (No pun intended) Well that’s that. I'm off to my Diabetes education class. Maybe my finger poking will deflate the links a bit and I can squeeze my legitimate maker back on for old times sake.

8 comments:

Heather said...

Hilarious! I totally am with you on sausage fingers... About September come on over and you can see the most swollen ankles and feet ever. No joke.

PRP said...

Oh dear Nikki how I can relate to everything you said! Maybe we should have a contest to see who can swell the most...

Jessica said...

This was so stinkin' funny! Just cause I can relate to EVERY WORD!! Well except for the 4th baby, there will be no 4th, but the rest I am right there with you!

owona said...

You're preaching to the choir, honey.

Naomi said...

You'll lose it after this baby. I lost all my baby weight and got down to my before I was married weight after baby 4. Just don't add 5,6,or7 because all that you lost will come flying back in very rude fashion. I couldn't even get down to my *get pregnant again* weight between them. Maybe it was because there was only 6 and 9 months between having and conceiving. I'll let you know how it goes now that we're done done. Someday our rings will fit again, I just know it.

Kevin & Carrie Poledna Family said...

If it makes you feel any better, I'm only on baby #2, haven't gained that much weight BUT my ring doesn't fit AND Kevin's size 11 ring doesn't feel so comfy either. I always have fat fingers anyhow but I was feeling a little hurt over this whole situation! Adding insult to injury! And I have 5 months left to go too! Ahhhh! You're always cute though, pregnant or not. :) Love ya...

Tharker said...

When you can't wear your pregnant ring, then that just sucks!!!

You're so close Niki!

polka dots said...

You need to come over and hang out with me. We could be round together.